The New Year is a time for transition as we let go of the old and ring in the new! But, how do you decide WHAT is going to be new in your life, what is ripe for change? And are you ready to lean in, listen and get it?
Do any of these questions resonate with you?
How can I make a difference?
What inspires me and how can I do more of that?
What do I get of bed for everyday?
How can I change this relationship?
How can I heal from this situation in my life?
I feel like I have no choices, how can things possibly change?
Why did this happen to me?
What can I do differently to make me FEEL happy- how can I get it, and stick with it?
These are the questions that I hear the most when a client walks into the room for a therapy or coaching appointment. These are the questions from a person poised to go through some aspect of a life transition. One of the underlying themes in each of these questions is the quest, the search to finding meaning in life or meaning from a life experience. How can we find meaning in our everyday experiences, work, jobs, parenting, relationships, health or even the difficult times in our lives? In Victor Frankel’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning he points out that forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. The meaning we attach to the various experiences in our life determines how we will respond to them. How you choose to respond will not only determine your resilience but ultimately will reveal how the transitions in your life will unfold.
As we reflect on these questions for the New Year, a time of transition, lean inward, contemplate the ways you can make small conscious choices to make movement toward change. Research shows that small incremental choices, repeated over and over, give our amazing brains the ability to rewire and create new habits, staying power, creating new natural choices. As old unwanted habits and beliefs are no longer fired the pathways in the brain that once supported those old habits and beliefs start to atrophy.
START TODAY! Take these 3 steps:
First identify what you need to let go of that is taking up mental real estate- is it resentments, old relationships or beliefs, victim mentality? Your old story-write it out, download it. Negative self- talk, old beliefs, are a catalyst for staying stuck in an old vibration from the past, consuming and blocking your energy to put toward the future. Using the tools of mindfulness or journaling lets the emotion move through and allow you to “ let go” and drop the heavy baggage of the past, and start to tune into a new vibration in the present where change can happen.
Next, what do you want to keep? This may be your morning Starbucks, or a mindless TV program you love, a yoga class or snuggling with your kids, lover or your dog. For me it is taking an early morning walk in the park near my house, nature resets my compass. Life would not be the same without it. There are certain things that feed our soul that make our small worlds work. Important staples in our life!
And lastly, what do you want to bring into your life? How do you want to change your story and your vibration? This may be a new relationship, a new job, exercise, or more income. What is the big picture plan that needs small steps to launch? If it’s a relationship think about a warm hug or kiss that lights you up and how to have that juicy feeling again. You have to FEEL the new story. I had one client that added 30 minutes of exercise to her plan each day and she thought about the “ juice” she felt doing that. All of these small actions led to amazing broader sweeps of change and new vibrational energy- the new story. Start with small steps that build to a quantum leap.
A daily intentional practice allows you to awaken and create the space for a deeper internal experience of listening, leaning in, and taking action that builds. This type of internal guidance allows the changes you make to come forward as new behavior, creating a new vibration aligned with the present, reflecting the new story filled with the meaning and joy you are seeking.
Happy New Year!!